Blue Oyster Cult’s ‘Don’t fear the reaper’ rings out through the dark room.

It’s 3:30am.

Yes I’m on holiday, yes I’m a lazy SOB but the chance to go in with my good friend Tianna to watch her work the morning shift at Townsville’s HOT FM is way to tempting – I’m a giant radio geek after all! I can’t really complain, Tianna does this every day.

Backstory – I met Tianna (or T to me) at university some eight year ago when I was studying Journalism and we’ve been friends ever since – well she’s stuck with me, and I also claim to have convinced her to do radio!

She along with one hell of a cool Guy, Cliff, have worked their butts off and are now the morning crew in Townsville, having started in Mackay about four years ago. I was about to see them LIVE as they pump the airwaves of Townsville’s morning drive time and was looking forward to it.

The day before, Having landed into Townsville late in the afternoon, I was whisked away to help them ‘surprise’ a crazy christmas lady with some Caroling. The woman in question’s house looks like santa clause has vomited on it in what can only be described as awesomely over the top!! Every year her and her husband clear out their home of everything but the furniture and put up what can only be described as a museum load of christmas decorations as well as a light show in the front yard that has over $10,000 worth of christmas lights in it!

After a laugh and some ‘gorilla’ caroling we enjoyed a nice curry and caught up.

Now it’s the next day and I’m sitting watching Tianna get ready for the show, gathering sound clips for the Gossip section and generally having a laugh, even if it is 4am! Topics up for disccussion include
- female transformers.
- Celebrity children
- THE NEW BATMAN TRAILER!!!!!!
- LMFOA Front man hurting his back ‘Wiggling’

5:30am – Wow so I was suddenly on air Cliffo asked if I minded talking and in my mind a microphone is a microphone and as I spend about 10hours a day talking it wasn’t to hard – but for the love of god there’s something to be said about hearing yourself broadcast across an entire city. I also sound different from the last time I was on Radio in 2004, much slow and sexily deep.

I was shocked to find my radio voice is my sex voice! Hello all the ladies in radio land.

8:50 – the show is wraping up. Sitting in the studio it is clear that Tianna and Cliffo are a well oiled machine. Seeing behind the curtain of the show it is good to see some things they do are very similar to tricks I use to make a tour run smoother!

They genuinely have a really great time in the studio and I’m glad a friend of mine enjoying her work as much as I love mine.

Check them out on facebook at HOT FM TOWNSVILLE

So for once I decided to do an extreme sport in a country that actually has you know safety standards! That said there’s very little you can do safety wise when you jump out of a plane.

First of all your exiting a pretty safe object to drop and hope that material about 2mm thick, plus some string attached to what looks like a child’s school bag is strong enough to slow your 230KMPH ass down to something less death inducing.

OK I’m exaggerating that a little.

But that said doing alone is boring so I now need to get a band of similarly crazy people to come do it with me.

So if you’re up for it 28th Dec, Redcliffe Qld.

http://www.jumpthebeachbrisbane.com.au/

I just want to go for a night out on the reef, maybe snorkel a bit.

So I just got back from two days on the reef where I did 5 dives at four locations around the beautiful, stunning, f*cking sexy as all hell Great Barrier reef.

So why did I end up spending nearly $500 for the privilege of breathing oxygen while surrounded by things that could bite, sting, stab, and/or cause me death. The answer, it’s on my list. Diving is also freaking brilliant. It is another way humans are saying a big FU to mother nature.

Us “Oh so I CAN’T breath underwater – I’ll Show you!”

Anyhow just wanted to say if you hit the reef, suit up and scuba!

GK

Yes I’m back, I’m hairier (if that is possible) and I’m rearing to go. Finishing my final tour for the season, it has been a brilliant 6months, I was quite excited for I was going back to Australia to visit my friends, family and see my little sister be sold…I mean married off.

I will admit the prospect of being unemployed again is not something I’m thrilled with but if my final debrief in the office was anything to go by I’ll be back for Summer 2012 season with Contiki so I only have to last till march(ish).

I should probably address what has occurred this year – I did work for Contiki holidays, a small (ha) but very successful travel company most Australians have heard of, if not been on.  This season I’ve met nearly 300 absolutly wonderful, sexy, fun, funky, crazy people. I’ve had highs I’ve had lows and I’ve been paid to see the Pyramids. I’ve wiped at least 15 items of my Before 30 list and for a bunch I was getting paid!

I also managed to score a sweet ride back to the big red land. Now While I’m not a picky flyer, I’ll get on anything as long as the ducktape isn’t that obvious, when I get the chance I’ll upgrade. Now QANTAS was 800(ish) Emirates was 820(ish) so I said f*ck it and booked the better, less strike happy airline – thank F*ck, less than 12 hours after booking my ticket QANTAS was canceling flights like a contiki client cancels a sexual health check up after a tour! (PS some of you should probably go get checked!)

So the World tour 2011-12 has begun, very low key but you can’t rush these things. In the pipline for this years world tour.

• Pakistan
• Iran
• Some other countries that will make my mother cry! (sorry mum)

So for now I’m back in Australia, safe and sound a looking forward to the many beers to be shared, the hugs to be given and the spooning to be spooned.

From a café in Melbourne this is Glenn Kelly saying – Shit just got real!

The air is warm and very humid, the shaft unbelievably steep. Even with the modern wooden stair case the decent is difficult. At the bottom we enter into a large carved out room, to the left a sarcophagus, to the right a wall covered with hieroglyphs.

I love Egypt.

Since starting work for contiki I’d dreamed of being given an Ultimate European, the longest concept tour the company offers, and second tour up this year here it is. It means that I get to cross off five things from my before 30 list in one hit, while getting paid.

The twenty two clients I took with me were mostly ready for it, I’d spent the first half of our tour preping the guys and girls for the pace we would be going at in Egypt. Six days four cities, seven excursions, including Abu Simbel the highlight of our trip.

Day 1 – Cairo

We awake to find the temperature already in the mid 30s, the sky clear and our day  jammed full of things to do. our first stop the world famous cairo museaum, home to the greatest collection of egyptian artifacts. We stroll the floors of treasure, some of it showing the passage of time, and lack of care the early tomb explorers displayed.

While were were looking at egypts ancient past right next door to the muesum is egypts history in the making, the former home to the presidents political party stands a blackened burnt out shell. The protest of 25 jan 2011 having tourched the building multipul times. across the road from the museum the square is still occupied by a few hundred protesters.

As we drove away our guide Hanny told us that the burnt shell was to be left as a reminder to the politicians not to mess (F*ck was his words) with the people.

Smashing through the crazy Egyptian drivers we were soon confronted with large pointy stone things, also known as the Giza Pyramids. These monstrous man-made monuments dwarfed everything around them. Before we could go inside however we needed to ride us some mother-fucking-camels!

Noone has writen a ‘I’m on a Camel’ song but they should. It’s like riding a horse, only the horse has a bumpy back, makes funky noises and smells like farts.

To be continued….

You can see it from quite far away, a flag at the top blowing in the breeze. Honestly I found The Cathedral of Pisa to be more impressive but that said the most wildly known engineering f*ck up is by far the draw card. Around the base of non-vertical structure, known to the world as the Leaning Tower of Pisa, nearly every tourist was doing the ‘I’m holding it up’ or ‘ I’m pushing it over’ photo op. I’m talking kids, grandparents, mother, fathers, Europeans, Asians, Australians, everyone, except me. It’s not that I’m above it, I just simple don’t have the patients.

Taking a stroll around the ground the large, and fairly unknown Cathedral and Battistero that stand next to the leaning tower, it’s quickly clear that the tower itself was never meant to be the draw-card. The Cathedral is sunning, and the Battistero mammoth. Both include intricate sculptures and a beautiful coloured marble fronts.

At the end of the day though it is hard not to spend some time staring at the tower, it truly does lean. I remember watching a program a few years ago on what was done to stop it collapsing, the engineering that went into keeping it leaning were nearly as impressive as the fact that the damn thing hadn’t fallen over in the proceeding couple of hundred year since it started to sink on one side.

Once again I was stifled in my hopes to climb (15 euros) so I only got to enjoy the sights from the ground but it was well worth it.

GK Out.

I hit Dubai for a 16hour layover – not wanting to waste my time I decided sleep was for the weak and managed to stay awake for over 40 hours.

Check out my delirum, as well as Snowboarding, and eating at the world only 7 star Hotel.

GK Out.

Tian Qiao Acrobatic Theatre, Beijing

So before I left Beijing one of the awesome English girls (Jen) let me tag along to the Chinese acrobat show she was seeing. It was absolutely brilliant. For a 1hour show at the Tian Qiao Acrobatic Theatre it costs 180yuan (strangely it gets more expensive the further from the stage you are?). The one hour show is filled with tumbling, high wire acts, contortionists, balancing and a barnyard ditty that just made me want to drink xxxx and play the banjo. The performers where all spot on, if there were any mistakes I couldn’t tell. The croud of mostly Chinese tourist had a blast clapping along and cheering after every performer finished.

The show is a ‘must do’ in Beijing and well worth the 180yuan ($30AU) no need to book just rock up and buy tickets at the door.

Details:

Where: Tian Qiao Theatre , Beijing
Cost: 180Yuan – 380Yuan
When: Runs Daily (3 shows from 4:30pm on)
Tickets: At the door or through your Hostel
Where: South of Tianimen Square (listed in Lonely Planet Beijing Guide)

Web: http://www.tianqiaoacrobatictheater.com/

Here’s a few photos from the show