I understand that Air travel is stressful for some, especially those travelling with small children, for older people that find it hard to move around, or people that are genuinely afraid of flying. These people have a right to be nervous and skittish.
Everyone else needs to just calm down and de-stress!
People, with no reason, work themselves into tense angry balls of hate at airports. They get stressed at check-in, angry at security, and loose their minds while waiting to find out their departure gate. This behaviour is just creating unwarranted stress for everyone and frankly I want to punch these people in the face…with a brick….twice…while screaming CALM DOWN YOU’RE STRESSING EVERYONE OUT!
Here are some things people do at airport that just needs to stop for both their and my sanity – and so I can stopped getting stressed near these people.
1) Forcing your family and friends to arriving 5 hours before your flight departs!
I’m talking about the people that arrive ludicrously early for their flight and then build small forts out of their luggage as they wait for the baggage drop to open. Airports hate these people because it causes congestion when none should exist in parts of the airport that they have designed to be streamlined.
It causes stress because these people tend to arrive with the mindset that they are already late and camp as close to the line as possible. Then proceed to panic about every little step. They rush from check-in, through security, to departure lounge, and camp out right beneath the announcement boards. The sprint to Starbucks to get a coffee panicking that they’ll miss their plane even through it doesn’t take off for another 2 hours.
SOLUTION: DON’T get to the airport 5h before your flight.
Pre-plan your transit to the airport by purchase train tickets, or a private car, well in advance and schedule it to arrive 3hours before take off no earlier.
Trust me even with the modern security lines this will be plenty of time.
If you’re worried about falling asleep in the departures lounge, set an alarm 60mins before departure. This way you’ll ensure you’re awake, have time to go to the toilet, check your departure gate and walk there.
2) Exceeding the Weight Limit on your Baggage.
It is clearly stated on every website, on the ticket, on signs around the airport, and finally stated clearly by check-in staff, it’s not a negotiation, it can’t ‘let you off this time’.
Here in Europe everyone knows that it’s 17kg for Ryan Air, 20KG for Easy Jet, 23kg for all big name carriers, yet every check-in has that one person that argues with the check-in staff that they should be allowed to take the extra 5kg, or the ‘didn’t realise they’d packed that much’.
SOLUTION: The MAXIMUM weight limit on baggage isn’t a target to aim for. If your bag is over 20KG for anything below a 7day holiday then you over packed.
If the check-in staff say it’s over you have two choices:
a) Throw out the extra KGs of stuff in the nearest bin.
b) Pay the exorbitant ‘over weight’ charge that the airlines levy on over packers.
There is no other option, don’t argue, don’t make the rest of us wait while you have a hissy fit. Be an adult, shut up, and pick A or B.
3) Being Unorganised
These people irritate me most of all because they tend to be the ones with children or are running late. They fumble around, unpacking half their bags looking for passports and boarding passes. They are normally also the ones that have exceeded their baggage limit, and been sitting in the check-in area for 5hours. These people they hold everyone up.
They then make it worse by getting to security and having three litres of liquids in their carry-on, even though there is 1,000,000 signs saying 100ml EVERYWHERE plus the public services announcements that play in the check-in hall on a loop.
SOLUTION: WE SHOOT THESE PEOPLE.
No in all seriousness air travel involves three components. A Ticket/Boarding Pass, a Passport/ID Card, and Baggage. That’s it. Hell in truth in the modern era Baggage is optional.
Your passport, and boarding pass should have their own designated spot, make it the same one every time. If you can’t do this, then hold it in your hand like a child.
Speaking of children for the love of all that is holy if they can’t yet write their own name do NOT entrust them with document that are vital to your holiday.
Not only should the be seen but not heard, I would prefer if you tranquillise you little terror prior to arrival at the airport. Children, in general, do not travel well. The worst people are those that think it’s adorable when their little angel is kicking, screaming, and running around. These people need to understand that if they don’t want to discipline their children then I’m going to. If little Billy/Jane keeps waking me up, I’m going to be that person that makes a scene – a crime scene .
Do everyone a favour and keep you kid entertained/asleep.
DO: Bring and iPad/Tablet loaded with games and videos
DON’T: forget to bring earphones – I don’t want to hear Pepper Pig for 8h.
DO: Drug your kids up to the eyeballs
DON’T: Expect sympathy if you don’t and have to deal with your child being hyper for 19h.
DO: Feed your kid.
DON’T Feed them sugar or things you know keep them awake.
SOLUTION: Leave the kids at home – or with a relative, just not near me.
So that’s it for this little rant.